


That Don't Impress Me Much

by Muir_Wolf



Category: Psych, The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Community: help_haiti, Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muir_Wolf/pseuds/Muir_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon and Penny meet Shawn and Gus in a cafe.</p>
<p>
  <i>“Are you saying I’m impossible? Because I actually get that quite a lot.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Psychics may be impossible,” Sheldon frowns, “But you are simply…aggravating.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Don't Impress Me Much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weasleytook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weasleytook/gifts).



“Penny,” the man sighs as he enters the café, “There are no such things as psychics!”

The hot blonde with him rolls her eyes. “You’re saying that there’s a universe where you’re a clown made out of candy, but there’s no possible way for there to be psychics?”

“Those are completely different situations!” he yelps.

“Isn’t Whoopi Goldberg a psychic on your beloved Star Trek Next Gen?” the blonde smirks, as they start to order their drinks. The man narrows his eyes at her.

“There was a rather detailed explanation of what happened to her in the Star Trek Generations movie, and—”

“The one with the bridge?” the blonde scoffs. Before the man can snap back at her she waves her hand dramatically. “Genetic mutation,” she says.

He opens his mouth, shuts it. “You’re referring to X-Men, I assume,” he says.

“I’m saying that it’s ridiculous to rule out psychic ability when there is so much about the human mind we don’t know about!”

The man smiles slowly. “Very good, Penny,” he says. “Even though I am certain that I am right I feel as if I ought to recheck my position on the matter, which is a high compliment indeed.”

The blonde grins, and Shawn stands up, completely ignoring a scowling Gus sitting across from him.

“ _Shawn,_ ” Gus says, but Shawn waves his hand.

“Come on, buddy, this is too good an opportunity to pass up! I’ll just—”

“Shawn—”

“Walk over there and—”

“Sit down, Shawn!”

“Introduce myself and—”

“Shawn, I _like_ this cafe, don’tyoudare—”

“Why hello!” Shawn says loudly, slipping out of Gus’ reach and bounding over to the couple. “The scientist and the waitress—actress, I should say!” Shawn says, lifting the blonde’s hand to his lips and dropping a kiss on it.

“I am a _physicist,_ ” the man says.

“From Texas,” Shawn adds quickly, and Penny narrows her eyes.

“Are you stalking him? Or me? Or us? Because I will—”

“No no no, not at all,” Shawn cuts in. “I’m sorry to have alarmed you, but the spirits drew me to you and—”

“Are you a psychic?” she asks, smile twitching on her lips. The man rolls his eyes.

“More likely a charlatan,” he says. “Penny, let’s—”

“Oh come on, Sheldon,” she says. “What can talking to—”

She lifts an inquiring eyebrow and Shawn quickly supplies, “Shawn.”

She grins. “What can talking to _Shawn_ possibly hurt?” she asks. He twitches.

“Are you enforcing—”

“Girlfriend Rule #23?” Yes,” she says. Sheldon twitches again and mutters something about contracts under his breath.

“Very well,” he says, voice tight, and Shawn grins.

“We’ve got a table right over here,” he says. He gestures to Gus, “This is—”

“ _Gus,_ ” Gus cuts in, shooting Shawn a glare. “My name is _Gus_.”

“This is Penny and Sheldon,” Shawn grins, sitting down next to Gus. Penny waves a hello and then nudges Sheldon when he says nothing.

“Hello,” he says stiffly.

“Sheldon doesn’t believe that I’m a psychic,” Shawn says. “Even though I knew he was a scientist from Texas. I can go on, if you want,” he says. “I can do this all day, as long as the spirits are willing.”

“I’m more interested in what _drew_ you to us,” Penny says, looking intrigued, and Shawn grins.

“You’re going to be a successful actress with a smile like that,” he says, and Penny laughs. “The spirits, however, are telling me that you should both broaden your horizons.”

“I am in Santa Barbara. I am in a non-preapproved café,” Sheldon snaps. “I think my horizons have been sufficiently broadened.”

“Oh Sheldon, don’t be grouchy,” Penny laughs. “Taking a weekend trip is what couples do, and you’ve had fun, don’t try to say you haven’t.”

“So maybe you didn’t need the spirits help,” Shawn says with a little shrug, amused at the odd couple across from him. Gus mutters something most likely insulting underneath his breath, and Shawn valiantly ignores him.

“Psychics simply do not exist,” Sheldon says, eyes narrowing slightly as he looks at Shawn. Shawn’s smirks, eyebrows quirking up.

“Are you saying I’m impossible? Because I actually get that quite a lot.”

“Psychics may be impossible,” Sheldon frowns, “But you are simply…aggravating.”

Penny looks at Gus, amused, and Gus just shakes his head. Shawn taps the side of his nose. “I knew you’d say that,” he says, grinning. Sheldon glares.

“The implication that—”

“Sheldon,” Penny says, and he pauses. She puts a hand on his leg and the tension seeps out of his body.

“Perhaps…” Sheldon offers, the slightest bit of drawl creeping into his voice, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he tugs at his sleeves that flirt with his forearms, “Perhaps you have an eidetic memory.”

“An eidetic memory?” Shawn repeats with a slight frown.

“I thought _you_ had an eidetic memory, Sheldon?” Penny asks, nudging him. He sighs as her elbow lands beneath his ribcage, but by now he’s fairly used to it.

“I _do_ have an eidetic memory,” he says.

“So are _you_ a psychic?” she smirks.

“ _Penny,_ ” Sheldon says, and she relents with a grin.

“He’s saying you have a photographic memory,” Gus explains. Shawn blinks.

“I only mention it because Sherlock Holmes had an eidetic memory, and you appear to have the same exacting sense of detail, and given the fact that you work with the police—”

“Whoa, how’d you know that?” Gus cuts in, looking surprised, and Shawn rolls his eyes.

“He’s probably read a newspaper or gone online,” he says. “We’re kind of famous, my aquaphobic penguin.”

“Wait, you know who they are?” Penny asks, looking at Sheldon in surprise. He shrugs, obviously uncomfortable.

“As Shawn said, I have read the paper. They work with the Santa Barbara Police on occasion, and they have a tendency of attracting undue attention.”

“I don’t know if I’d call it _undue,_ ” Shawn grins.

“Well, why aren’t _you_ a psychic detective?” Penny asks, and Sheldon’s jaw tenses.

“Sherlock Holmes,” Sheldon says, voice tense, “Is one of the greatest detectives in literature because he is capable of observing all details of a crime, factoring out those elements that do not pertain to the case, and using his brilliant detective skills to solve everything he came up against. I may have an eidetic memory, Penny, but I have never shown any great abilities in detection—I am not, as you have so often noted, a student of the human emotion.”

“Aw honey, you definitely aren’t,” Penny coos with a grin.

“Wait, you…you _like_ us!” Shawn smirks. Sheldon’s jaw clenches.

“You are _not_ a psychic.”

“I wasn’t asking if you think I’m a psychic, I’m asking if you like us.”

“I don’t see what bearing that has on—”

“You think we’re awesome, don’t you?” Shawn asks, gleeful. Sheldon’s lip curls.

“Your methods are shaky at best, your practice is undoubtedly based on deception, and you have little to no regard for the rules and regulations of the law enforcement.”

Gus and Shawn exchange looks, smirking.

“You compared me to _Sherlock Holmes,_ ” Shawn says. “And you clearly think he’s awesome. You totally like me, don’t you?” Shawn asks, ridiculously proud of the fact.

Sheldon closes his eyes, sighs. “I find your track record…impressive,” he says.

Penny grins. “That means yes, he totally likes you,” she translates. Shawn nudges Gus, grinning, and Gus rolls his eyes.

“Well, I’m sure that if I knew…anything about physics,” Shawn says, beaming, “I’d find you pretty _impressive_ as well.”

Sheldon stares at him for a long moment, eyebrows raised. “ _If_ you knew anything about physics,” he scoffs, “You would undoubtedly find my work far _more_ than impressive. You may have some measure of skill at solving crimes, but my contributions to science will not only earn me a Nobel, but my name will end up in the historical analogs of science. I understand that the concept is most likely beyond your _ken_ , but the word impressive is, in this case, almost insulting, although I suppose it’s not fair for me to ask that a man of your intelligence understand that. ”

Penny hides a grin behind her hand at Shawn’s flabbergasted expression. Gus is finally grinning.

“I _like_ him,” he says. “I like him a _lot_.”

“I don’t—” Shawn starts, and then stops with a blink. Sheldon looks between the three with a frown.

“Is something wrong?”

“Sheldon doesn’t find many people impressive,” Penny offers, unable to quite hide the giggle.

“Penny,” Sheldon says, standing, “I’m sure Shawn knows this, being a psychic.” Sheldon smirks at them. “Bazinga! That was sarcasm; I still know you can’t be a psychic!”

Penny, laughing helplessly now to Sheldon’s utter confusion, stands as well, gesturing between Sheldon and the other two men. “Really, it’s a compliment!” she says.

“I appreciated the chance to meet you after reading of your various exploits,” Sheldon says.

“It’s definitely been interesting,” Shawn says, standing as well.

Gus grins at Sheldon. “I’m going to have to call you up whenever his ego gets too big,” he says, nodding at Shawn. He mimes popping a balloon and Shawn turns to glare at him.

“I didn’t hear him saying _you_ were impressive,” he tells Gus in an undertone. Gus crosses his arms, eyes narrowed.

“Well, we must be going,” Sheldon says, turning on his heel towards the door, and Penny grabs his arm and spins him back smoothly, as if she’s had a lot of practice.

“It was great meeting you,” she says. “This was fun.”

“Definitely,” Gus volunteers. “We should grab lunch sometime.”

Shawn and Sheldon both turn to look at him in shock as Penny brightly agrees and the two exchange numbers.

“See you soon!” Penny sing-songs, waving brightly as she tugs Sheldon to the door.

“Dude, I thought you didn’t like them?”

“I don’t like _you,_ Shawn,” Gus says, grabbing his drink.

“Gus, don’t be like that,” Shawn says, following him.

“Not listening,” Gus snaps.

“ _Gussss,_ ” Shawn whines.

“Nope,” he says as they walk through the door.

There’s a trailing plea of _Gus!_ as they walk away.

_Finis_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on 23 January 2010.


End file.
